Have you ever wondered to yourself, who is in charge of my time?
Or how about, “why am I still sitting on my phone at 11:00pm when I got into bed at 10:00pm?”
This has happened to me on more than one occasion.
I sit there when I finally “come to” out of the dense fog of Instagram or the rabbit hole of Facebook and think to myself, “What have I just been doing for the last hour of my life? Why do I feel so bad about myself?”
The ache in my back, shoulders, and neck tells me I’ve been tense while reading, scrolling, or whatever it is I was doing on my phone. My mind is racing in so many directions and the blue light has now made my eyes confused about what time it is, even though my body feels tired. To top it all off, I’m annoyed at feeling inadequate about some part of my life.
Have you ever had these feelings right before sleep?
I finally decided a few months ago that I was tired of the feelings, the ache, the confusion. One of the big reasons I was still on my phone in bed was that it “needed to be there.”
Or so I thought.
I started going through my list of excuses.
“It’s my alarm clock.”
“What if there’s an emergency?”
“What if someone needs me in the middle of the night?”
That’s when I started wondering, who is in charge of my time and my life? Oh right, I am! And, lucky for me, there are more clocks than just the one on my phone (thank goodness!).
So I bought a digital alarm clock.
And you know what? It’s been life changing.
When I come into my room, I plug my phone into the wall on the other side of the room, I get under the covers, and I breathe a sigh of relief.
No longer do I sit and scroll in bed. No longer do I let others bombard me with their “too good to be true” lives or their tragedies right before I close my eyes to rest. No longer do I look at material things that I wish I could buy with money I don’t have.
Instead, I read.
I spend 30 glorious minutes reading a book that brings me joy. For me, it’s a work of fiction. Maybe for you it’s a mystery novel, a short story, a poem.
Whatever it is, I can guarantee you it is way better than the “story” of the world from your phone. It is much quieter than the constant noise of your device. This thing that so often brings us much freedom also brings us much bondage.
Quite an oxymoron isn’t it?
In the morning, the alarm goes off. Is it pleasant, like the small, soothing wake up of my phone alarm? Not at all. Frankly it’s rather annoying. But instead of turning off my phone alarm and instantly feeling the temptation to pick it up, check my email, scroll social media, and immediately hear the noise of the world again, I leave my phone alone.
It sits on the other side of the room as I wake up, remember the dream I had, watch the curtains sway from the slight wind coming in through the window. I make coffee or tea. I enjoy it in silence and read a book or watch the light change in the sky.
I have relearned the quiet of the evening and the mystery of the morning.
The world will still be there in an hour. And the events of the world are important. In fact, knowing the news, wonderful and tragic, is part of living as a human.
But the events, text messages, social media, email….it can wait. It must wait.
My soul, my heart, and my mind cannot wait. They need me.
Does your soul need you?
Buy an alarm clock, find out.
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