The best teacher I’ve had for learning how to pause is the act of making a cup of tea.
It sounds simple, perhaps dull even. You might be thinking that you can even multi-task while making a cup of tea.
But what if you didn’t? What if you paused?
Before you throw this idea out completely, give it a try. Let me set the scene.
You’ve been working non-stop since 8am and barely took time to grab yourself some leftovers from the refrigerator before getting back to it. Deadline season is crazy. Around 2pm you get that hankering for another cup of coffee. Rather than just pouring the leftover from this morning and microwaving it, what would it be like to make a fresh cup of tea?
The steaming mug will have the scent of fresh herbs and spices. The taste of the tea, black, or maybe with a little milk, nipping at your tastebuds.
You decide to go for it, it’ll only take 5 minutes right? Make those 5 minutes count. Use this opportunity to learn how to pause.
You’ll have to fill up the kettle and set it to boil. If you have an electric kettle, opt for the stove to give yourself those few extra minutes.
Now comes the hard part.
Close your computer, and put your phone on airplane mode. In my opinion, anyone who needs you to respond in less than 5 minutes needs to go take a nap.
As you pause, take in your senses. Listen to the simmering of the water as it starts to warm up, the clink of your mug as you find your favorite one and pull it down from the shelf. Smell the scent of the tea bag or loose leaf as you prepare it for the boiling water.
Take a deep breath and look out the window. What is your mind telling you?
Maybe you’re thinking about the looming deadlines. Maybe your post-work to do list is racing through your mind. Take inventory of your thoughts, but give yourself permission to breathe. Those deadlines and lists will still be there in 5 minutes, tell them to pause.
I can promise the world won’t come to a crashing halt. Instead, you might find your mind free for just a moment to think about how you’re actually feeling. Does your body feel strong or is it stiff? Are your eyes rested or do they feel tired and dry? Do you feel weary of the world or content in who you are and what you’re doing?
Now that you’ve taken stock, how can you affirm yourself? Maybe you can read an affirmation or a favorite poem, a psalm or proverb. Whatever it is, put this into your routine. Part of pausing is a recognition of the self and the human need for self-care.
You are important enough for 5 minutes.
In fact, you are important enough for MORE than 5 minutes.
I know this fast-paced world can make it seem like all you are worth is your time, but that’s because the world knows what it thinks you are. The world doesn’t know who you are and what you are becoming.
In the words of one of my favorite movies, The Help, “you is kind, you is smart, you is important.”
Finally the kettle boils. The steaming water hits the tea and creates a heavenly smell. The herbs seep in the hot water and the colors of the tea swirl. As you walk back to your desk, remember the feelings you noticed, the inventory of your body and emotions as you allowed yourself to pause. You sit down, blow softly on the water to cool it down before taking a small sip. Feel the liquid as it warms your body. Breath deeply. You’ve now learned how to make a cup of tea.
There is nothing about this process that should be profound, and yet it is. For those of you with young children (like myself), you might be thinking “when do I ever get 5 minutes to think about myself?” I’m right there with you, but I’ve learned the beauty of pausing with my (decaf) tea after they’re asleep. Those of you with older children, give them something to do or even invite them into the process. They will learn by watching you.
By pausing everyday, you might find that self-reflection begins to come more naturally, and that, my friend, is a step towards understanding yourself, and understanding humanity.
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