I don’t know about you, but I’ve never been one to make New Year’s Resolutions.
I often think in terms of the school year calendar, August-June, rather than January-December, so making resolutions to do something different in January feels like the middle of the year. I’d much rather start fresh in August before I’ve settled into my routines again.
When I was younger, kids at school used to ask each other about their resolutions. I think most years all of us had similar answers:
“Exercise more, read more, be more confident, try new things.”
Do more, think more, be more.
It seems New Year’s Resolutions are about “more.”
I want to resolve to do less. Don’t you?
This past year has been unlike any other. The up and down quarantine restrictions have cause us to be limited to our homes and neighborhoods. We have been forced to cut back on social interactions, parties, gatherings, and work events.
But you know what, I think it’s been a reset we’ve all needed.
Would I ever choose a global pandemic to reset our minds in this way? Of course not.
But, I can see the way in which it’s caused us to think differently. Rather than doing more, we are doing less. And I for one have been ok with that.
I think when we are all back together and life resumes a somewhat normal cadence, I will absolutely love having a social calendar again. Meeting friends for coffee is one of my favorite pastimes. Going to music events and the ballet, walking with my husband down streets with cute corner shops, and having people over to my home are all aspects of life that bring me a lot of joy.
But I won’t do more than I need.
There is never a need to burn yourself out simply because the new year tells you you need to change.
In an article on Bloomberg CityLab from 2019, Linda Poon researches the uptick of gym subscriptions every January when people resolve to exercise more. She poses the question:
“So when do people start abandoning their resolutions?”
She says “Strava [an athletic app] calculates it to be the third Thursday of January, or the 17th of this year.”
This is telling.
The intense motivation of adding more of something to our lives and living to an impossible standard (i.e. not exercising at all to trying to exercise 5 days a week), rather than carefully changing our lifestyle is where a lot of our problems lie.
That, and the fact that January is also the middle of winter, which is such a hard time to make change (think cold weather, short windows of light, and higher spread of illness).
The phrase “new year, new me” couldn’t be farther from the truth.
In fact, it often makes us feel more inadequate and less motivated when we do (inevitably) fall off the bandwagon of whatever we are trying to change about ourselves.
That’s not to say that you can’t make positive change in your life. But cultivating these daily habits of exercise, eating well, and having a positive mindset take time. And a LOT of work.
I’m all for setting goals, in fact I think it’s healthy to have something to look forward to and work towards.
But setting a goal and losing sight of it, simply because you might fall behind a few times, is more common than you’d think.
So, instead of looking at the year, what if we chose to look at each day?
Let’s simplify our mindset behind New Year’s Resolutions.
Instead of trying to change who you are, what if you try to find contentment in who you are?
Rather than making resolutions for each year, what if you resolve to take each day as it comes?
Rather than adding more to your list, what if you find ways to cut back and be more intentional with your time?
Here’s to doing less, not more.
To waking up to each day, not to each year.
And here’s to continuing to allow ourselves to grow, change, and work towards goals, without the pressure of a new year.
Oh, and Happy New Year.
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