How to Break a Bad Habit (and Form a Good One)

Have you ever had a bad habit?

I used to bite my fingernails as a kid. It was just something I did when absentmindedly reading a book or watching a movie. It didn’t make a difference in my life at all.

Until it did.

One day I realized that I wanted to have long nails so I could get my nails done. And the only way that was going to happen was if I stopped biting my nails. So, I decided to stop.

Did it happen overnight? Of course not.

While I don’t remember the specifics, I’m sure I ended up with at least half of my nails grown out and half slightly bitten, but the point is that I realized I wanted to both break a habit and form a new one.

Do you have a habit you need to break?

So many habits are formed early on – brushing your teeth, washing your hands before dinner, chewing with your mouth closed.

But how often were we taught how to break a habit that isn’t good for us anymore?

Maybe for you, this habit is being attached at the hip to work. Or perhaps it’s checking your phone every few minutes, looking for the next like on Instagram or reading all the unnecessary notifications you get all day. Maybe it’s endlessly thinking about your to-do list and not giving your brain and body the break it deserves.

Now, maybe you’re sitting there thinking:

She doesn’t know how demanding my job is.
I’m not addicted to social media.
I like making to-do lists, there’s nothing wrong with that.

Let me ask you a question.

Are your habits controlling you, or are you controlling your habits?

If you’re actually in control, then you’ll have no problem setting boundaries with work, with technology, with your tasks. In fact, you’ve already done this.

But I’m guessing you’re here because you, like me, need to be reminded that there are some habits in your life that are controlling you.

The idea of being a good steward at your job has turned into a life of being on 24/7. The sharing of photos and ideas on social media has left you questioning your worth or value based on the number of likes. Your interest in organization has made it so that you have no time to be still, and find peace.

So that leaves the question.

How do you break a bad habit?

First, you must understand that it’s a choice.

I can give you all the background research and reasoning you can read, but at the end of the day, I’m not the one sitting with you while you debate checking your work email at 10pm, or when you feel the urge to look at your phone just one more time.

It’s a decision you must make.

Second, it takes time to form a better habit.

By letting go of a bad habit, you are making way in your life for something good, something better. This takes time. Even if you’ve made the choice to let go of the unhealthy habit, research says it takes a minimum of 28 days to break an old habit before you can form a new one (for an interesting read, check out this article by James Clear).

Maybe for you this means turning off your work email on evenings and weekends. Or perhaps using an app on your phone to limit the time you spend on Instagram. These are great ways to start the process of forming a better habit.

Third, you might fall back into your old ways at least once.

Breaking a habit is hard work. It takes discipline, and a deep desire to make a change in your life. It’s so easy to say “whatever, you only live once, this is my life” and go back to the thing that you think makes you feel better.

But let me tell you. It won’t.

On those days when you give into the temptation of working late, scrolling social media, or making another to-do list instead of resting, let me be the voice in your head.

Soul friend, you can do this. You can break your habit. You can change your mindset.

These habits and changes in your life won’t be miraculous or instantaneous.

But one day, you’ll wake up and realize you’ve done it. You’ve broken the habit. The attachment to work, your phone, your busyness. You won’t need it in the way you thought you did.

And my friend, I hope this brings you joy. This is the art of rediscovering simplicity. The letting go of the unnecessary to allow for the awareness of what is a necessity.

And what is necessary is you.

Let go of the habits in your life that make you miserable, and instead form habits that make you feel whole. Get outside, exercise, make delicious meals, practice self-affirmation.

Form new and good habits, and take control of your life again.

All it takes is one choice. Are you willing to make it?